Monday, March 4, 2013

Until It So Desires

And I no longer have a boyfriend.  He's my fiance now.  My betrothed, Timothy, asked me to marry him.  So I guess I'll share my favorite memories of him from the 5 months that I've dated him.

August 24, 2012, I went to a teaching lab at the house of Clayton State's BCM leader.  I went expecting to have a nice spiritual time with much younger people.  I sat next to a guy on the couch and thought he was nice.  I didn't go back to school for another two weeks, ergo, I didn't see him until then.

Then the week after that, he finally talked to me.  Being friendly, I asked if he was going to the next teaching lab that Friday.  At said teaching lab, he asked me out.  Monday came, and he appeared with a yellow rose and took me out to Mellow Mushroom.  We then went to Target, Hobby Lobby, Starbuck's, and talked for 30 minutes in my garage.  I went to his house that Friday.  We went to Reynolds Nature Reserve.  I held his hand as we walked.  We sat down and he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I knew I loved him the Tuesday after Thanksgiving when my Granny went to the hospital.  He got a 24-hour cold.  I feared this would be my last time to see Granny.  I asked, and he came with me to visit my Granny in the hospital when he was sick.  She passed away the next morning and he was there for me.

Between Christmas and New Years, he finally told me he loved me and we began talking marriage.  We know it's going to happen, we just need the how and other details.  I knew he was the one for me after the first date.  Saturday, March 2, he took me on a windy day to Stone Mountain.  We rode the cable car up the mountain.  I went outside with him for a minute then came in as it was too windy.  Then, we went to the carillon to listen to the people playing the music.  The nice lady at the organ invited us into the hexagon-shaped room as it was cold.  After she and another man were done with the music, Tim took me down from the organ, to the carillon that it plays.  I was so ready to be inside from the cold.  He embraced me, asked me what he would do without me, and then got on his knee and pulled out a ring.  I gladly accepted.

I think of all the people who know us, love us, and are happy about us, only 2 people think we haven't known each other long enough.  But our closest family members and friends all see that we were made for each other, that we are older, and that we are at a time in life when we are ready to face the blessings and difficulties of a marriage.  I see couples who would date for 2 years and then still not plan to marry.  That's a sure sign that they weren't meant for each other but they were trying to be.  They didn't have that unexplainable sense when you meet the one -- that lack of mystery, the lack of obligation in seeing each other.  I'm glad that God waited until I was 27 to bring Tim into my life.  If other guys had been interested, I would have settled for something I thought I wanted, but had to force to happen.  It's not that way with Tim.  He's my best friend, we always spend time together, we believe the same things, we respect each others' boundaries, and he feels like he could be family.

I despair whenever I hear of my kids at church having some "boyfriend" as young as 6 years old.  The TV has conditioned our young girls to think that they need to find one before they grow up.  The opposite is true.  If you aren't planning to marry within 2 years, then you should not court temptation.  You can have friends who are boys, but romance does not need to be there, and the friendship is better without romance.  But when you finally see where your life is going and know that you can support yourself and another person and possible little mouths in the future, then get a boyfriend, and just let him be your friend and consider whether you can live with him or not, whether he treats you like a queen or like a utility.  And certainly wait for him to say the L-word, to propose, to talk of marriage, and if he doesn't do that after a while, then move on to someone else.  People are in too much of a hurry and need to see that there is no need to rush.  Life is so much more exciting when you follow God's plan for men and women and not follow the one-dimensional ideas seen on TV.

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