"But many who are first will be last and the last will be first." This is how Jesus wraps up his conversation with and about the rich young man who went away sad but very rich in worldly things.
He then tells the disciples the third of three times that he will die on a cross and then rise again on the third day.
After that the disciples still don't get it, argue about who is the greatest, and James and John ask Jesus if they could sit at his right and left when they get to glory. In other gospels, they got their mom to ask him.
They still don't get it. Only Jesus is the greatest. He is "the most enjoyable, breath-taking, awe-inspiring Person you will ever know." But they want to decide if Peter, Andrew, Bartholomew, James, John, etc. are the greatest. They truly love Jesus, yes, but they also want something from him.
And really, after reading this article by Kelly Needham, I am painfully reminded again that that is what I really want from God. Not him, just what he can give me. When will my heart ever be pure?
And that leaks into my life outside of God. Do I really love this kid because I want to be a friend and guardian angel or do I want to be a paraprofessional someday? Do I just not want to clean deep fryers forever because I have master's degree and obviously deserve better?
Do I seek God for God or do I want him to magically move me and Tim closer to Henry county and for Tim to have a job that he earned a degree for? Do I love Jesus because I love Jesus or do I want to get to heaven some day?
My heart will never be pure and short of a miracle, I will always want my glory and not God's. But, I also praise Jesus that only he truly had a pure heart and can change mine every day to make me more pure. And he can do the same for you, too. Please, seek our Lord and ask him to change your heart to be more pure.