Monday, May 21, 2018

When Mother's Day is awkward

It's a week late, but not a dollar short because I decided to talk about Mother's Day and how awkward it can be for people.  I never really paid attention to Mother's Day growing up.  It was just another Sunday for me and not all that important.  And I don't have a problem with it.  In fact, I kind of like it for reasons I will talk about.

But now it is awkward for me, and I know I'm not alone, for two reasons.

1).  In 2009 my mother passed away from cancer.  Many people have lost their mothers to death, and some to even abandonment.  Many people don't have their mothers around anymore.  How do you celebrate Mother's Day without simply saying, "Happy Holiday"?

a) Since my mom was one of the greatest women I knew, I still celebrate her.   Her spirit is alive in heaven and one day will be reunited with a new improved body when Christ returns.  I can celebrate the memory of her and how I want to be like her.

b) This can help if your mom is alive but has abandoned you.  Celebrate women you know and love who have been influential and like moms to you.  One of my mom's best friends in Conyers practically took me in and has been very influential to me.  Also know many other older women who have been kind to me.  Celebrate them.

c) Remember the Lord and still go to church.  Church can be awkward on any day, not just a greeting card holiday.  But you go for Him, not for them.  You go because he commands it.  Cling to Jesus, the only one who can provide any true meaning for life and true healing.

2). Between Tim and me, we still don't have children.  We've been trying for 3 years and will still keep trying.  But still, people my age and younger have children left and right.  Some don't even want to have children.  We want children, but we don't have children.  So, if somebody at church tells you "Happy Mother's Day" and you still don't have children, what do you do?

a) If you can, volunteer for children's ministry.  You can spiritually raise children.  But also beware of emotional attachments, because they will happen.   But also, don't let that keep you from volunteering. 

b) Reach out to young people in your family.  I know one person who helps with her niece.  I have a niece through marriage and hope to influence her a long time. 

c) Trust God's plan.  For some reason, people don't like to be reminded of God's will when it doesn't match theirs.  Sometimes, I don't even like to be reminded of it.  But why?  It really is the greatest comfort.  God made you, loves you more than anyone else, and knows exactly what you want and need.  He also gave you your desires for his glory.  If it's his plan for you to bear a child or even adopt, then it will happen.  But if it is not, he still has sent Jesus to die for your sins and has so much more in store for you beyond this life.  You must trust him because there is no one else to trust and because he knows exactly how it should go. 

Is Mother's Day awkward for you?  How do you cope?  What about Father's Day?  Mine is alive and well, and I don't know what I'll do when he goes.  But, what do you think?