I decided to read Romans 7 because it is one of the texts cited at Celebrate Recovery this past week. I was wanting to read more of it because of Paul's struggle with sin even though he is a Christian now.
The first question that popped in my mind is about verses 1-6 when Paul talks about marriage and divorce. A shallow question would be, is it a sin for a divorced woman to remarry when her ex is still alive? Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. I personally believe that she is free to marry if she did not initiate the divorce and if her husband has cheated on her or is abusive. Jesus said she can divorce if the man is unfaithful. Abuse is another form of unfaithfulness because the man has broken his vow to love and cherish his wife. And she should be able to start again.
However, that is not the point of this chapter. Paul is comparing our sinful nature as that ex-husband who is still alive and Christ as that new husband who we want to marry. If you are in your sins, you cannot come to God because God cannot look on evil. You will explode in flames of God's wrath. Your sins will not be forgiven. Either you will die for them, or somebody will take your place. And that perfect somebody is the only perfect man, Jesus, who is also God the Son. He takes that punishment, sends his Holy Spirit to change your heart, and now you can come to God through Christ and his blood that covers you.
Christ has taken all my sins on himself and given me his righteousness, and so I can come to God's presence humbled and grateful. At the same time, I still live on this planet where Christ's kingdom has not been consummated. And I still live in my old body and soul which has been weakened by sin. Although I have God's Spirit inside me, I still have my old sinful nature nagging at me. It's like, it's not quite dead yet (why does Monty Python and the Holy Grail come to mind right now?). It's not getting better, but it is still kicking. And that is why when I need to make a decision, I can't just go with my gut. I have to take in serious prayer and Bible reading.
Let's use Paul as an example. Before he was a Christian, he hated Jesus and persecuted Christians, killing even women and children. He probably had lots of anger and never struggled because there were no competing voices inside him. Now that Christ has come and changed him, he probably still has anger. You can see his biting sarcasm as you read scenes in Acts and in his epistles. He now struggles between anger/hatred versus his new love in Christ. He cannot just do what he wants because the old Saul still calls out to him. He cannot go with his gut. He must follow Christ.
I am a Christian. I don't remember a time when I did not believe in God. I remember being about 6 or 7 and saying to my mom, "At church, they talk about God as if he is real." And she said, "That's because he is real. He's just invisible." So I believed. Then another time we were talking about a sister I had that had died in infancy. She talked about heaven, and I said, "Is heaven real?" "Yes, it is." So I believed. Then when I was 11 years old, Dad came home from a Promise Keeper's conference and introduced me to Christian rock music, and I decided I wanted to follow Jesus completely and make him my world.
Since then, I have struggled with making close friendships, loneliness, mental sins, bad temper, and even anger. Although I have loved Jesus and believed him as long as I can remember, I still have sin, and so I can't just make decisions based on how I feel. I must be humble and read Scripture, pray, and even take advice from others. To do otherwise would be denial, the key word from CR, this past week. You can't deny that you still have a sin nature, and you must not follow your heart.
Do you feel such tensions in your life? How do you deal with them?
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