Monday, November 19, 2012

Yes, I Know

This comes from yet another moment of me commenting on  my own Facebook status when I should have just let it go and wrote a blog instead.  Well, here is my blog.

I think it was Wednesday, I declared that I do not believe in Aspberger's Syndrome, Tourette's, ADD, OCD, or any other combination of letters labeling someone has having some personality disorder.

How is this offensive to people?  Why is it not enough for me to say I have been pegged with all of the above, and yes I'm not going off of Prozac ever again, for you to understand I am not talking as someone who has not been there?  I am at a point where I no longer want my flaws to define me.

So, why the controversy and why am I labeled insensitive?  I'm going to guess it's because hypothetically little Meghan was in 2nd grade.  Suddenly, she forgot to turn in her homework.  All the time.  She also had a messy desk and daydreamed while the teacher taught.  Also, she preferred reading to playing with the other kids.

As an adult, she still prefers to tell the truth that nobody wants to hear because it is important enough for me to voice my thoughts.  I'm proud to be a conservative Republican Protestant pro-life activist and do not mind being obnoxious.

The last two paragraphs describe behavior that is not like other people.  It's not like me.  I work hard and would spend all night doing my math homework, not because I was lazy, but because I could not concentrate.  I'd rather think of the Ninja Turtles, I Love Lucy, other shows.  Also, I care that the truth be told even if it upsets someone.  Your average psychologist would say I have ADD or Aspberger's.  I got tagged with ADD and Tourette's in 4th grade, due to also making throat noises, twitching my head, twitching my legs and arms, you name it. 

It seems that if people cannot explain why they are somehow not fitting in or performing up to par with other people in their class, they need some kind of explanation so that they can feel less inadequate.

Now that I'm 27 and have been rediagnosed with ADHD for a year, escaping Aspberger's by the skin of my teeth after Dad sent me to a psychiatrist after pointing out some minor theological error after hearing a lecture from some class I wasn't even taking.  I also struggled with a relapse of obsessing over friends, making things worse, trying to make them better, not being allowed to make them better, and simply losing friendships that mattered a lot to me. 

Sometime this year, I heard from Tim Challies that they're erasing Aspberger's from DSM-V.  Then, I visited my best friend in Buffalo.  That week I realized, that there are people that judge me and there are people that like me warts and all.  I slowly decided that there was nothing wrong with me and that all these labels were making people see me as fated for failure. 

So now, I'm going to attempt to change all that.  I won't change how schools like to treat kids as if they are all the same, but I can make my thoughts known.  I do not have Aspberger's.  I suffer from unresolved grief that I still can't quite identify that I've had all my life.  I know certain causes, but I can't really pinpoint it.  However, God gave me passion and knowledge and a love for all people.  It can be overbearing, but I see nothing wrong with that.  What is wrong is the people who take my disagreements and decide that I'm against them because of it.  Or even worse, accuse me of debating for the sake of debate.  I'm sorry, but that is far from true.  I always have a reason to say what I say.  It may not always have the best timing, but I'd consider myself not a friend if I did not tell you what you needed to hear, if I just simply did not care and let people wander around believing dangerous lies, getting into bad situations, and on and on.

And the ADD thing?  I think it's a Nazi invention.  ADD kids are the smartest kids.  But they make terrible grades in school.  Has anybody not stopped to think that perhaps they don't have a disorder, but that the teacher fails in teaching them on their own level?  Maybe instead of marking me down for not turning in homework or daydreaming, they should have let me read books for a while and maybe concentrate on what I was good at instead of boring me with rote schoolwork.  They certainly should have challenged me to speak up more or to know the right ways to tell the truth.  Maybe they should not have made me try to study everything at once but do science one day, math another, and let me do my homework at school so that I could find other ways to be productive outside of school.  People cannot simply do school and then just homework all their waking hours.  They need time to get their tasks done and then to focus on what really matters to them.   This is why ADD kids have ADD.  They have desires and interests that just are not met or cared about in their formative years, and instead of complying with the other robot kids, they want to imagine a better life than being in school wasting their lives.

Seriously, this is why more people should homeschool.  Public school is a one-size-fits-all experiment and ruins kids who just don't fit.  They don't have a problem; they are just different and should not have to be educated the same way.

1 comment:

  1. I heartily agree with your last two paragraphs. If there is anything I have learned from being a teacher, or from being homeschooled alongside three other siblings, it is that children learn in drastically different ways. One of my violin students right now is diagnosed with "ADHD" but there is nothing wrong with him except that he is an active, growing little boy who needs to be taught one-on-one, and have time to run around in between subjects!

    I understand the need for some medical labels by professionals, though on the other hand I have never been where you are, so I am not challenging you. :) I loved what you said about not being "fated for failure." I would add that this is true about Down Syndrome children as well.

    Thank you for this post! It is nice to hear your unique perspective, and also to get to know you a little better through reading this. :)