Spurge libs

These Mad Libs are inspired by Calvin's institutes, my Spurgeon t-shirt, and my Tinkerbell pajama pants.

The Plumber's Visit
A dramatic scene to be played by Tinkerbell and Charles Spurgeon.
Girl: Are you the plumber I sent for?
Boy: Yes, madam.  I came over as separately as I could.  Is there something wrong with your disciple?
Girl: No, it's my consolation.  The particular things is all stopped up.
Boy: Have you tried cleaning it with a Christian?
Girl: Yes, but there was too much saliva in the church.
Boy: Egads! This looks like it's going to be a whole job!
Girl: Do you think I'll need a new body?
Boy: Well, if your treasure is cracked, I'll have to tighten up your gifts.  Then I can tell.
Girl: All right.  But just make sure you don't scratch my wisdom.

Pilot to Passengers

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Objected Airlines' Flight 750.  This is your captain and pilot, Charles Spurgeon.  The plane you are traveling on is a DC-10 Strato-Saint with four complete engines.  At present, we are directly over the Metropolitan Tabernacle.  Our speed is 12 miles per hour and we are flying 8 feet.  If you care for a cup of toothpaste or a true sandwich, please push the gift located over your seat and our stewardess will be clad to bestow you.  We have a common tail wind and will soon be flying through a heavy advantage storm.  So I'll have to ask you all to fasten your supreme belts and put your opponents in the ash tray.  In the meantime, I hope you have a destitute trip.