I'll admit. I'm a girl. I'll cry at the drop of a hat. Especially if I've had little sleep. This doesn't help that I volunteer to counsel pregnant ladies at the local pregnancy center. Now, I know my tactics aren't always best. In fact, tact is an acquired taste for me. But I also try real hard to not be judgmental. Despite being a virgin, I have sinned enough (once is enough) to merit hell for eternity. Jesus, however, saved me, so I am free from sin and don't feel like I have to do that anymore. It is my place to judge no one.
So, a woman came in. Fairly successful looking woman, dresses nicely. Her mother and son also came in. 7 weeks pregnant. First I explained that I can't give her baby clothes until she has the baby due to policies. She questioned the logic in that. Should she send her child home from the hospital naked? No, I said, usually the hospital will have something for her to wear. Then I filled out a referral form so she could get some clothes at a local charity. I also mentioned that she, as a professing Christian, should not be living with her boyfriend, but I couldn't go far before the mother decided I was being judgmental. Never mind that more abuse happens in cohabitating relationships for everyone involved, never mind I want to tell her the truth, I'm being judgmental because there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I apologized for coming across that way but it was not my intention to sound judging. I want to tell the truth because soon you'll not be pregnant and will be subjecting your kids to an abuse-prone house and you'll be in a situation where you won't want to say not to sex. But to her I was unprofessional and that since I've never been pregnant I shouldn't be there.
But anyway, I guess I was a bit judgmental. I admit it is one of my main flaws. I did cry today. I wasn't going to, it just happened. Not in front of the clients, but just in a way where I couldn't stop. It was good to talk to the staff ladies some. (One said one time a client slashed her tires. That didn't happen to me.).
Both the judging lady and the staff people had good things to say. The lady who judged me for being judgmental said when a person comes in needing help, that I listen to them and offer help. That's good to know, but how exactly do I do that. And how am I supposed to be professional when I don't get paid? I'm a volunteer.
The second advice from the staff lady, Janice, is that look what happened to Christ. He got crucified. If they rejected his advice, they'll reject me even more. We've all had terrible clients, some we could have handled better, but ultimately, we're doing the Lord's will in helping these ladies both materially and spiritually.
But how do you approach people with the truth in love without sounding like you are judging them? What would you have done in this situation?