Saturday, April 27, 2013

X is for Xt-likeness

I think this is another post inspired by Tim, but mostly it's just a post about how I realize more and more that a man and woman's marital relationship is a picture that God provided of what the Church's relationship will be with Christ.

I met Tim at a time when I was very confused about my life.  I was hurt over a friendship loss, lonely, and very depressed.  Then Tim came along and now I had a friend that gave me everything I sought in people before I met him.

The good thing is those previous friendships improved some.  It finally came to a point where I'm marrying Tim in three months and I seriously need to be faithful to him and no one else.  I can still talk to previous people that I loved, but my loyalty is with Tim who I expect to live with for the rest of my life after July 27.

It's that way with Christ.  He saved us when we hated him, worshiped other people and things, and even now we still want to keep in touch with our old idols.  But the thing is, he's our betrothed, and the previous loves don't matter anymore.  The Church needs to be faithful to Christ, the only one who can truly fulfill her.

I think I understand the Trinity slightly better since I've been in premarital counseling.  God is three people, but one God.  The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one God, but they still have different roles, but those roles can overlap, too.  The Father thought of this whole planet and how to save it, the Son carried that plan out in a body and died for our sins, and the Spirit is God's real presence with me.

Unlike the Trinity, marriage is only two people.  One is a man and one is a woman, but we will still be one marriage.  The man is the spiritual head who provides for the family and leads it in the Lord.  The woman is the support who raises the kids and makes the man's leadership possible.  But as I see soon, I have a job and he is great with children.  Our roles are different but they overlap because we will be one flesh.

And as I slowly forsake all for Tim, there is one that I love more: Jesus.  And as he provided a friend that reminds me of him, and he is the only source of my life, I need to slowly abandon all competitors and be faithful to Christ and how he is truly described in the Bible.

It would be really silly if as I got closer to marrying Tim that all of a sudden, I would prefer to hang out with his mother.  She's a great woman and he looks a lot like her, but she's not the one I'm marrying.  I'm marrying Tim.  What if I decided I couldn't talk to Tim anymore and only sent him messages through his friends that I know through BCM?  Should I want to marry Tim if our relationship is so estranged that I have to talk to him through a third party?  How much more heinous is it when we feel so unworthy of Christ's love that we feel like we can only talk to him through a priest or try to spend more time with his mother.  They may be great people and good friends, but Christ is my betrothed, not them. 

Yes, I am unworthy of his love, but Christ pursued me and lifted me from my despair and meaninglessness.  He is the one I'll spend eternity with.  Not some special person in the Bible, not people who speak for him today, not even Tim.  He is the new Adam, and the Church is his bride, and we all carry him in us thanks to his generous gift of his Holy Spirit.  We all bear Christ, and he still dwells with us despite ourselves.  And I'm finally figuring that out because he sent me Tim makes me understand God so much better.

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